Re-order your brain. Enter a zone of intoxication you never thought possible. Drink it. Absorb it. Do more than feel it. Luxuriate in it. Let it be part of you. Be part of it. The Mille R. The most awesomely accomplished motorcycle I have ever ridden.Balancing the seductive lines of up-to-the-moment Italian styling, with visceral v-twin power, superb suspension/performance and the cachet of a Latin marque - the Mille R is perfection on two wheels. A scalpel through the twisties of Sydney's Old Pacific Highway - I ride the wave of torque and let the guttural roar of the RSC Ti pipe pummel my sternum with pressure waves of ripping silk.
Having hassled my dealer to the point where he was suffering major hair loss - I arrive at the dealership late on Friday afternoon, more excited than a stag in rutting season, and praying for the threatening rain to hold off. The Aprilia mechanic has just turned over the motor for the first time - having worked on prepping the bike since its arrival from the importer at 11:00am that day. I'm escorted into the cavernous workshop by the sales manager. The air seems charged with the raw beat of the Rotax motor. Aprilia RSV Mille R - plated #002 - sits there like a hunched bird of prey - kinetic energy personified. It seems out of place - like a delicate work of art lifted from the Uffizi Palace and transplanted in some bland wasteland.
I marvel at the perfection of the lines, the bottomless depths of the glossy black paintwork, the almost fluoro red markings and decals, the muted electric blue of the OZ wheels, and the burning gold glow of the Ohlins suspenders. How could I be worthy of something so achingly beautiful?
Paper work done - a small group of dealership employees, and the owner, gather to bid adieu to the first Mille R to be delivered in the Southern Hemisphere. Already they have bike #003 out of the crate, awaiting vital fluids and another impatient owner who will have to wait a few more days for his moment of gratification.
I throw a leg over. Even taller than I remember the strada model being - though almost certainly the same height. Thumbing the starter - there's no hesitation as the motor bursts into thunderous life. Idiot lights all check out. Temperature is coming up. Adjust the mirrors. Engage first with a clunk. My God - this bike fits me unbelievably well. Everything comes so naturally to hand/foot. Gold/blue tops to the fork stanchions stare up at me. Fork yoke displays a tasteful Aprilia logo. Engage the clutch and pull out of the garage in the tall first gear.
Fast forward to the next day. Samantha's looking edible in her Dainese gear - Rossi AGV and astride her spunky yellow Spada. We're off up the coast for the weekend. A couple of good mates join us for part of the trip. Ambling through the suburbs - the Ti can is not neighbour friendly.
Into the corners - and I soon find that run-in redline of 6,000rpm equates to over 160km/h. Bloody hell! I'm quite content to keep it around 3,000-5,500. Pirellis all scrubbed in - I find that the bike scythes through the turns with minimal input. I feel I can guide it by ESP.
It's a revelation. It's the pure distillation of cornering finesse and pleasure. Every ripple in the road is transmitted directly to my hands. Never a hint of wallow despite hurling it across some horrible pieces of lumpy bitumen. I've never felt in such partnership with a motorcycle. It tempts you to get the knee down from the get-go. It's all so natural and confidence inspiring.
And precision! Aim for an exact piece or road and dissect it with your Mille scalpel.
Manners? Never untidy. And not twitchy or verging on instability. Joyously free of turn-in bias, unlike shorter, steeper machines. And neutral! No matter what angle of lean you've selected - it sits in that exact groove, awaiting your next ESP command. Hands merely caress the clip-ons - a firm grip unnecessary. Flickable? So fast in the direction change it laughs at you and teases - "try that again at twice the speed - and watch how quickly I can truly transition from this full lean to the other."
Undulations and ripples are absorbed unbelievably efficiently by the Ohlins - allowing the bike to get on with the job of ruthlessly cornering and powering on. I'm delightfully surprised that these dead sexy suspenders don't threaten to hurl me out of the saddle. Gawd - good suspension makes an outrageous amount of difference to the riding experience, doesn't it? I'd be keen to firm up the pre-load at the rear for track use perhaps.
Did it ever put a foot wrong? Hardly. Two false neutrals between 4th and 5th. My fault really - trying to short-shift on a neutral throttle. Only had one (rear) slide - very brief and not a sphincter-puckerer. Annoying thing about it was that I couldn't identify the cause. Either some unsighted gravel on the road, or the Pirelli Dragon Evo Corsa wasn't up to optimal temperature.
And how addictive is that visceral v-twin beat? How could anyone go back to a four after experiencing the transformation it can give a bike - from machine to a living creature, a thoroughbred with an untamed heart.
And yet the motor and whole bike are amazingly accomplished and refined. Having ridden a good mate's 996 SPS - I was struck with how much more industrial, hard and raw the Ducati felt. I think the Duc's heavy clutch, super tall first gear, and dry clutch + desmo clatter create that impression. Oh - and comfort. The Ducati had my wrists aching - whereas the glove-like Mille was inexplicably comfortable. Not one ache after a weekend of running in. Go figure.
Am I happy? I'm as happy as a pig in shit. Astride the Mille R - torque-ing her out of a flowing corner - feeling so alive and connected - I can't help but think - I'd have paid double the asking price - it's that good. Scything my favourite road on this puppy is going to be one of life's most exquisitely rewarding experiences.
Other impressions? The resin fuel tank looks as deliciouly sculptured as the strada's steel one. Oil radiator positioning is a farce - already sporting multiple stone dents. Stuffed if I know the solution. Front fender extension perhaps? Grille for the radiator? Hmmmm. Gearbox is sometimes Jap-like in its ease of use - snick, snick, snick - if you only partially clutch the change. Most times though it's a little notchy (still new of course!). Engaging the clutch in 1st is a bit graunchy - but nowhere near as bad as a Duc.
Infocentre is trick. Whilst I still think it's the ugliest part of an otherwise beautiful machine - it is impressive in the information it can display. And how cute is that change up-light? Set it to 5,500rpm for now. And love those eccentric adjusters on the foot pedals. Nice touch. Lightweight wheels look trick and not too hard to clean. Flickable front 120/65 Evo Corsa isn't wearing too quickly. Ti pipe leaks a little with the extraordinary strength of those pulses - but Christ does it sound pure 'horn', or what!
So reset all your expectations. Know that the Mille R is a superb weapon. And let's give thanks to those genius designers and engineers in Noale. I never realised that the design of soul, performance perfection and build quality could come in one package. Until now.
- Finners
March 2000
(Reproduced with permission of the author)